If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
last night I used snow as a chaser
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
