He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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