friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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