Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
