We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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