I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
