I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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