I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You ate ashes out of my bong
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
