At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
