I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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