you're like a bully in the Christmas story
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
