Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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