if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
