And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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