we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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