she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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