I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
