in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
