We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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