I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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