If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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