i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
