What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
