I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
