Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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