I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
