its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
