Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
