i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
