I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Randomize