Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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