It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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