He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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