im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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