11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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