I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
