it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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