Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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