I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
