i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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