How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
