he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
