do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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