she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
