You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
be right there i have to get my cape
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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