I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
