we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
