You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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