I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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