So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
