I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
