There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
