Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i think i just lost a toe
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
