i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
