Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow