guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..