how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Redeem this text for a blowjob
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.