just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
