This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
