She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
