What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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