If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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