He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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