Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
