are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
