i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize