I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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